Sex Research and Your Weekly Poke

Let's get over The Hump together! Today is the first of what I hope will be many Humpday posts. Thanks for being here with me, I hope you enjoy.

Every author does research, it is part of the job. We want to make sure that what we are writing is as close to real life as we can get it. So that begs the question, when one writes about sex and BDSM how do you do the research?

Let's start at the beginning, you write what you know. My mom told me that, mere moments after I confessed to her that I had written an erotic novel. "Did you just call me a whore?" I asked her shocked, and appalled by the suggestion. But after I thought about it, I realized she was right. I wrote what I knew, I wrote what I thought would sound good and ultimately feel good. What does that tell you about me? ;)

Where did I go from there though? I knew I wanted to continue to write about BDSM and specifically the D/s dynamic. The best thing to do? Research, but how do you research kink? I started with Reddit, Fetlife and Tiktok. From there I found out that there are hundreds of BDSM podcasts and thousands of sex and kink educators and so many of them have written books.

Let me tell you, I dove so deep into this world that I was left with my head spinning. binged podcasts, I read every book I could get my hands on and I reached out to some of the educators directly. I was left asked myself, how is there so much of it out there in the world, right under our noses?

There is an entire world out there of kinky people who are willing to educate, I used them to my advantage and I love them. This community has taught me so much and it opened up the flood gates of inspiration for me.

But not every sex scene will fit into a book or with my characters. These scenes, stories and shorts are what I have written and continue to write after I am inspired by my sexy research, but they're not going into my current works in progress. I was really sad to realize that I had an entire Google Drive file full of work that may never see the light of day and get out there for people to read. That is where Your Weekly Poke comes in.

When it comes down to it, I write for the joy of it and for the joy of sharing my writing with others. I hope that you will find joy in the scenes I share with you all. That seems so awkward, like I'm saying "I hope you enjoy the porn I wrote!" But it is true and what more can I say?

I hope to keep you cumming again and again and encourage you to embrace your inner kink!

~ Emmy Lou H.

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