Girl Porn, Humdingers and the Nether Yaya

"What's it about?"

"It's porn," one co-worker said to the other, then we laughed and laughed.


This is an actual account of a real conversation the one co-worker who I'm out to had with another of our co-workers.


Let me explain, when I started writing my book, almost immediately, my "work wife" (you know who are you, 👀 I see you) turned to me and said "What are you doing over there? Writing a book?" I froze, um...yes, as a matter of fact I was. So, it all came out, she got a copy of my first draft, I bounce ideas off of her and otherwise drove her bat shit crazy with my constant talking about my writing and the process.


But once she had a copy of it in hand another co-worker asked what it was about, jokingly, in an attempt to end the conversation and not be faced with any more questions she told her it was porn. We laughed and laughed about this, because it did what she wanted, it stopped the conversation dead in his tracks, and oh how true it is. But people don't take you seriously when you say that.


This was not the same response I got from my husband. When he proclaimed that my Erotic Romance was actually girl porn, he asked me if I was really just sitting around coming up with the most ridiculous and inventive way to say the words penis and vagina. "Like in Big Bang when Amy tells the story about the nether yaya," he said


I thought about both of these as I sat in the passenger seat of our truck reading yet another form rejection from an agent about how my project just wasn't right for them. I sat reading and listened to my husband and our teenager giggle about the fact that they had come up with the term humdingers to use instead of balls in front of the younger of our boys. Because it took me back to the first conversation with my husband and then the second with my co-worker and leaves me wondering what am I actually doing here?


I'm writing my second novel. I hope that I am actually writing an Erotic Romance, I stive to have a plot line, conflicts, resolutions and well-developed characters. I wake up every day and tell myself, you can do this, you are an author, today you will write. Most of the time, it doesn't work. Most of the time I'm left with imposter syndrome, feeling like I'm capable of nothing more than writing smut, girl porn as my husband called it, and spending my time coming up with more inventive and different ways to say, "my pussy was wet".


So, who is right? My co-worker who declared it as porn, my husband who thinks that I spend my time coming up with humdingers and nether yaya or my inner voice who tells me to keep going because there is actually a story here and there are people out there who will pay to read it one day?


I often wonder if other Erotic Romance authors face the same things. If they are thought of as less than authors because they "write porn". I hope to one day soon be included in this category published Erotic Romance authors (let that be a hint of things to come, but shhh, it's a secret so don't tell).


The reason that I have this concern is because I find that it is hard to put yourself out there as an author of erotica. So many agents and publishers alike are open for submissions of romance, but, and I fall into the but category. Does that mean that it is always going to be that way?


In creating this blog, and my social media I threw myself into the #writingcommunity and I hope to keep diving into it deeper, because I am looking for my people. They're not easy to find, I know a vast number of erotic authors who self-publish through Amazon, they're all over the web posting their stories on Reddit and other forums. But is this what we have to be reduced to? Is it expected that because we "write porn" that the more traditional routes are closed to us? I for one hope not, and I hope that I will find more authors out there writing erotica who feel the same way.


I also hope that because I would prefer to take the more traditional publishing route and to maybe have my book on shelves in stores one day that I'm not separating myself from those who self-publish, because I do not think that they are less. They are amazing to have the knowledge and ability to do that on their own, but I don't think that is the path for me, not today at least.


From all of my research I have been able to determine that getting published is hard, why does it have to be even harder for Erotic Romance authors when we all know that there is such a huge demand for what we write? For now, I plan to continue on my current path and continue to embrace my inner kink. I hope you do the same.


~Emmy Lou H.

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